Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
