Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
me + whiskey = a bad person
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
