Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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