I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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