I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
