i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
