HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
