i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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