apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
