I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
