I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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