It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
