Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
