Got a toothbrush?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
