Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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