Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
