i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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