he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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