Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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