How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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