i don't like sucking hair
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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