...so i touched it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize