I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
