I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
