Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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