And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
