I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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