It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
