So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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