So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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