girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i believe in u and ur pee
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
