you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
