Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
