i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Enjoy the penises
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
