I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
