Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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