What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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