Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
