Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
