its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I currently don't understand fingers.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
