we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
