Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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