i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
