You're so nebulous sometimes
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
