its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
