I think i peed on brittanys purse
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
