you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
