brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
