I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ttyl tear gas
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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