No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
