Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
