i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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